Being the most loved, the most prioritized child in the familiy could be a blessing. In my context, it makes me being really appreciative and sensitive. Unlike many typical assumptions of “anak manja”, but my context is the one who always proved to his family that the mountain summit is reachable, the ocean is swimmable, and the flame can be put off although it is hot and burning.
That is what i think i am. I am not fed to obesity, and do not sulk to get my wishes fulfilled. But being the person loved by others, makes me in deep faith that, i can achieve what i want. And for that, i thank my Mom. She is the one who is forever loved by me, and i want to keep her happy in her last years.
Perhaps, the return of my father to Allah was the strong blow to me. Being a really strict father, and supreme management skills, it was quite a nightmare to us (my siblings) as a kid. I cant lie that before my father’s death, it was only hatred and fear that i knew exist in our relationship.
But time went by, my father died when i was in my adolescence period. I was 18. I cried for the first time since i was 12.
From that time on, i changed. I became a thoughtful person. I wonder why my father died. In 6 months, i had nightmares that my father was still alive. I did not know when did it last.
And now, regret that i already lost opportunity to serve my father well, i put my ambition to my mother. BOLD.
And in many occasions with my mom, many times i have been flashed by this Quran verses; KAMA RABBAYANI SHAGHIRAA…
When i was a child, my mom took me to shops, markets and travel. Many times, i asked my mom; “Mak, tu apa? And mom will answer; “Oh tu ikan tenggiri”. I then ask another and my mother will reply.
Now, i brought my mom to the city, my mom asked me; “Wie, tu ape?”. And i will answer; ” Oh, tu la die KLCC, tempat Mas kerja.” And so on.
The wheel rolls.
And more, when i was in early period in high school, i called for mom; “Mak, tlg kirim duit. Wie takde duit nak beli menda2 sekolah.” And Mom will do her best to get me the money.
Yesterday, my Mom called me. “Wie, tlg masukkan duit kt mak. Mak xde duit.”
Oh Allah, what a son i am!
My God, forgive my sins, pls forgive my father’s sin, pls forgive my mother’s sins.
Oh Allah, have mercy on them, as they have brought me up when i was a child.