Ilaihi raji’un

May Allah forgive your sins and accept all your good deeds. May Allah bless you with His Mercy and His Jannah.

 

Selamat Berjuang

I received a message today from one of my brothers. He is leaving soon for furthering study.

“salam abg alwi, time kaseh byk2 didik saya 2 tahun di kolej..Allah saje yg dpt balas jase abang..;-)

Alhamdulillah, may Allah save you and us from the evil of ourselves. May we meet again insya Allah.

 

Ya Umar…

It is hard when you have the responsibility.

it is harder if you are the leader of men.

Umar al-Khattab in one occasion had been angry with his sahabas, by saying;

“All of you have pledge me as the caliph, and when i assign you with responsibility then you turn it down?”

It is easy to appoint somebody for some responsiblities just because we dont want to take it.

And we promise to help him out.

And when he dares to take it, and ask us to help him and cooperate, we run away.

We choose people to be our leader just simply we lack of criteria, and then when he orders then we disobey?

We heartfully leave the responsibility to him and let him take the plunge, while we see from far?

What are follower are we?

 

PAS & UMNO

I have never been interested in politics. To make things worst, i hate leadership in my early life. The reason was simple, i was always dream the impossible, to see OTHERS (leader) to be as perfect as in my imagination.

Being raised in Islamic background, with my father was once the Imam, and he never favored PAS. He knew only the “dacing” when it came to voting time. And it affected me, i had never know PAS in depth.

But i was quite stunned to learn in my childhood (primary school) that, my childhood friend supported PAS. I asked him why? That was the first reason of PAS supporter i learned, “aku x suka UMNO”. Came from Banjarish family, which were known for their roughness, the answer was quite unpredictable.

The thing is for a fence sitter like me, i didnt see where the corruptions went on that time. I know kerajaan gave everything, develop kampungs and so on. And we were thankful that time.

For a typical Malay like me, i guest, i love to see both of these giant Malay/Muslim parties to work together. So that i have no doubt while casting my vote.

I doubt to vote PAS because it ties to PKR and DAP. To vote PAS is the same to strengthen PKR and DAP (which for me not in the list for voting).

PAS itself is a good party. Except for its harshness towards his Muslim opponents. Saying voting PAS guarantees you heaven and vice versa is not accepted at all. Also what can we hear from  PAS ceramahs and papers. I guess most of it is in anger tone, tak puas hati, extremism.

A ceramah by PAS ustaz also empty. They can start with beautiful hadith or Quranic ayat but that will only last for 5 minutes or so. Then the rest of 45 minutes, you know it. Probably you heard in your house where the ceramah came from a distant surau which has many powerful speakers. If only the ceramah is good and ear friendly than it is justified, but even the subject is how to take wudu’, the ustaz is like to wage a war or something.

And i reluctant to vote BN (UMNO) because of their known mis-management and corruptions. Although not all, the UMNO knows it better. They just have to think that people are smarter days by days, and those who are corrupt will not have an easy life.

So for a Malay Muslim like me, i always confused when it comes to voting.

The news about Unity talks, is a new thing that i hope it will bring a new beginning on how we run politics.

 

Kama Rabbayani Shaghiraa..

Being the most loved, the most prioritized child in the familiy could be a blessing. In my context, it makes me being really appreciative and sensitive. Unlike many typical assumptions of  “anak manja”, but my context is the one who always proved to his family that the mountain summit is reachable, the ocean is swimmable, and the flame can be put off although it is hot and burning.

That is what i think i am. I am not fed to obesity, and do not sulk to get my wishes fulfilled. But being the person loved by others, makes me in deep faith that, i can achieve what i want. And for that, i thank my Mom. She is the one who is forever loved by me, and i want to keep her happy in her last years.

Perhaps, the return of my father to Allah was the strong blow to me. Being a really strict father, and supreme management skills, it was quite a nightmare to us (my siblings) as a kid. I cant lie that before my father’s death, it was only hatred and fear that i knew exist in our relationship.

But time went by, my father died when i was in my adolescence period. I was 18. I cried for the first time since i was 12.

From that time on, i changed. I became a thoughtful person. I wonder why my father died. In 6 months, i had nightmares that my father was still alive. I did not know when did it last.

And now, regret that i already lost opportunity to serve my father well, i put my ambition to my mother. BOLD.

And in many occasions with my mom, many times i have been flashed by this Quran verses; KAMA RABBAYANI SHAGHIRAA…

When i was a child, my mom took me to shops, markets and travel. Many times, i asked my mom; “Mak, tu apa? And mom will answer; “Oh tu ikan tenggiri”. I then ask another and my mother will reply.

Now, i brought my mom to the city, my mom asked me; “Wie, tu ape?”. And i will answer; ” Oh, tu la die KLCC, tempat Mas kerja.” And so on.

The wheel rolls.

And more, when i was in early period in high school, i called for mom; “Mak, tlg kirim duit. Wie takde duit nak beli menda2  sekolah.” And Mom will do her best to get me the money.

Yesterday, my Mom called me. “Wie, tlg masukkan duit kt mak. Mak xde duit.”

Oh Allah, what a son i am!

My God, forgive my sins, pls forgive my father’s sin, pls forgive my mother’s sins.

Oh Allah, have mercy on them, as they have brought me up when i was a child.

 

Ibrahim Zul E’zaz

Ahlan! We have waited you for 9 months with supreme eagerness. Thus, i as your father together with your beloved ummu, named you;

Ibrahim Zul E’zaz.

Insya Allah, i will be held responsible to give you the best education and upbringing.

I have fulfill 2 of your rights as mentioned by Umar ibn al-Khattab; i have chosen for you the best name, and i have chosen for you the best mother. I try to fulfill to educate you with al-Quran as it is your third rights.

Ibrahim,

I named you Ibrahim, because of my love to the Khalilullah Ibrahim a.s. I have memorized partial of Surah Ibrahim, and i have pondered upon the meaning of the surah. I am truly attached to it, learn great lesson from it, and my heart always tremble when reciting it.

Ibrahim is such an example of purity, high dignity, al-haniff, bravery and great servant and prophet of Allah swt.

I hope you understand what this name meant to you, o Ibrahim.

Ibrahim is the name of your great grandfather (your grandmother’s father), which i adore so much. And it is my appreciation to your grandmother for her wonderful sacrifice and patience for raising me to this level i know.

Zul E’zaz.

This is the legacy of your father. I did not have a thought about it, but your ummi insisted. I am not the best person, or in any way to be called great, but i want you to know that you should have the izzah inside you. E’zaz is the honour, the highness, which i hope it will be instilled in you. Verily to be honoured, you first must honour and respect Allah swt. Because that is the only way you will be honoured. Anything else than that is not counted.

O Allah, i pray upon you, to bless us with Your greatest blessings. Make us your great servant. O Allah, please correct us when we wronged You, and show us  Your way.

O Allah, please make us the leader of Muttaqin, the flaq bearers of al-Islam, and the syuhada in Your ranks.

O Allah, please save us from Your hell fire, and grant us Your Jannatul Firdausatul Ula…

 

The differences

Nay, it is not the typical firqah talk.

Nay, it is not the rhetorical lovable issue-making controversies.

Nay, it is not about splitting ukhuwwah.

Nay, it is not about i am superior over you.

But yes, it is about Allah’s blessing that i see other side of it, while you see the others.

Yes, it is about i am doing one of the pillars, while you maybe perfecting the foundations and concrete.

Yes, it is about the nice, gigantic yet fabulous palace that we are building currently.

Yes, it is about understanding that we are only contractors to Allah. And we will be rewarded by HIM based on the work that we do.

So, if you or me, while doing our task and still have time to throw sand to each other’s faces, i think we have problem because the Guardian, Lord of the World is watching every single thing that we do.

So, if you are claiming all the unnecessary claims while bombarding others with fitna, you just slow down the work progress! After all, we want this palace to be completed and we can live happily in it.

So, are we doing enough to critise others?

 

I am who i think i am

Long enough to leave this blog empty and unvoiced. I dont want to scribe reasons here, because everytime you train yourself to give excuses and reason, it will be automatic then.

I am not busy. They have 24 hours, and so do i.  I will never say that i did much enough and be complacent of not doing other things that i am supposed to.

I am not incapable. I am not incompetent.

 

Why is he confused?

Internet oh internet!!

Imagine a guy. A confused guy. A very skeptical look. A bias and negative comments. An everyone-else-is-wrong-except-me attitude.

How hard to talk to a guy like this.

Not just try to debate on sensitive issue, but the lack of knowledge by just quoting some reading in the internet make it so frustrating conversations.

At one time, he quoted saifulislam. Not to say saifulislam is not good, but the issue he brought up to platform without thinking much rational makes me reluctant to say it is a good source of knowledge.

Then, he quoted a so and so talking in the forum in the alahkam.

Then, he quoted a famous mufti, Dr Asri mentioned something in media.

Then, he quoted a few Akil Hay words from Youtube.

To blend them all together, it is just a bomb. It explodes.

I do represent as the Gen Y, that internet is the fastest means, yet easy to get information.

But don’t they have some time to read some books, to meet a few scholars, to ask the experienced one?

Internet is just not enough!

 

The Days

It is fortunate to have a life with full of things to do. A friend of mine once asked, in a regretful tone;

“Kita ni, banyak masa kita spend utk orang. Tiap2 hari letih and takde masa utk diri sendiri”

I was partially agree, then replied;

“Yg mana lebih baik untukmu ya akh, bahawa setiap detik hidupmu terisi perkara yang baik, sedangkan ada orang yang bosan dan tidak tahu utk mengisi masanya”

It was, indeed a reply not to him, but to myself, as i was indeed, and still i am thinking that many things that i do are for others.

Is it for my family? My mother? My zaujah?

After all, it goes back, that everything is for myself. All the responsibilities are merely the means to achieve my objective. Sounds violent.

For the sake of Allah, we sacrifice everything. But most of us think of saving ourselves from anger and act to get rewarded.